I write this as we come
into the New Year, 2013 with a relative in the hospital. He is elderly and
frail now and has been diagnosed with dementia about 4 years ago. It is heart
breaking to see the change in this man, even since having my girl 2 years ago
and his confusion when he recently met my new born son. Even when he was weak,
he would still give great bear hugs that I had to tell him not so tight!
He has always been a
bubbly character, always happy and pleased to see you and to hear that he can
be abrupt shows that he is not the same man he once was.
He has been battling
with a chest infection for a while and had been coughing up blood hence the
need for hospital treatment and whilst he needs it medically, he is more
confused as he doesn't really know where he is or why he has been left there
which is very distressing for him and more so for his wife who just wants him
home in his own comforts. We have been told that it is unlikely for him to
leave hospital now as his heart is very weak. He has had a few falls in there
and although the nurses are incredibly busy, they don’t have the time for him
he needs.
The trouble with
dementia is it attacks the mind affecting memory and personalities and then it
will attack the mind telling the body how to function until it just gives up
and then, nothing.
He has had a good
innings, almost 90 and had stomach cancer about 20 years ago where he had half
of it cut away but although we are at the cusp of his last moments, still you
realise how short your time is with friends and family.
So I urge you this,
make the most of your friends and family, go and visit elderly relatives whilst
you can, more often than not you’ll make their day. Leave the washing up or
cleaning for a few hours at least and go and have some fun with your kids or
partner be spontaneous and live for the present.
He was a lovely man and
will be missed, Rest in peace. N
