Crumbling mind

I write this as we come into the New Year, 2013 with a relative in the hospital. He is elderly and frail now and has been diagnosed with dementia about 4 years ago. It is heart breaking to see the change in this man, even since having my girl 2 years ago and his confusion when he recently met my new born son. Even when he was weak, he would still give great bear hugs that I had to tell him not so tight!  

He has always been a bubbly character, always happy and pleased to see you and to hear that he can be abrupt shows that he is not the same man he once was.

He has been battling with a chest infection for a while and had been coughing up blood hence the need for hospital treatment and whilst he needs it medically, he is more confused as he doesn't really know where he is or why he has been left there which is very distressing for him and more so for his wife who just wants him home in his own comforts. We have been told that it is unlikely for him to leave hospital now as his heart is very weak. He has had a few falls in there and although the nurses are incredibly busy, they don’t have the time for him he needs.

The trouble with dementia is it attacks the mind affecting memory and personalities and then it will attack the mind telling the body how to function until it just gives up and then, nothing.

He has had a good innings, almost 90 and had stomach cancer about 20 years ago where he had half of it cut away but although we are at the cusp of his last moments, still you realise how short your time is with friends and family.

So I urge you this, make the most of your friends and family, go and visit elderly relatives whilst you can, more often than not you’ll make their day. Leave the washing up or cleaning for a few hours at least and go and have some fun with your kids or partner be spontaneous and live for the present.

He was a lovely man and will be missed, Rest in peace.  N